How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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