Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
