Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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