It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
