Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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