Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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