from now on my penis is your penis
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
