I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
