It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
