Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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