oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
