Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
