my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
