on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
