my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize