JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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