I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
