One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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