The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
