I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
