Heybabeimwearingurpanties
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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