I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We're too hungover to prance.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
