I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Green mimosas i think yes
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize