He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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