she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
