the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize