What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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