Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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