no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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