is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize