we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
