I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
