Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
