he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
