Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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