Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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