I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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