You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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