I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
