I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
