It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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