How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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