Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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