$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
