And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
