Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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