how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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