Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
