They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
