I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
