Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
