Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize