is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
