Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
