After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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