I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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