Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
