it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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