we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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