Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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