Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize