I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
