all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize