Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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