I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
