are you still at the devil's house?
hotel room ftw
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
