tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize