so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
