Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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